5 Steps To Stop Worrying For A Better Midlife

Apple Podcast - Spotify

Why Worry Doesn’t Help in Midlife: A Mindset Approach for Women Over 40

You know, I often find myself doing more life coaching than weight loss coaching.

Why?

Because weight loss is a mindset issue, knowing what and how to eat is crucial, but managing our minds to perform consistently is the key to long-term success.

Today, I’m not even talking about food; I want to share a personal experience that also translated into a coaching call. It’s about worry—something we all struggle with, especially in midlife. 

Understanding Worry in Midlife

During midlife, our brains and emotions undergo significant changes. What we once handled with ease may now be more challenging due to hormonal shifts.

As we approach menopause, our propensity to worry can increase, leading to what I call "mental loops."

These loops are repetitive thoughts that keep us stuck in worry, affecting our mental health and decision-making.

For instance, I’ve been dealing with some personal issues, including concerns about my son's mental health.

As a mom of nine with two grandkids, a business, and various responsibilities, there's always something to worry about. I often find myself stuck in these mental loops, where the same thoughts keep repeating, making it hard to find peace. 

Tools for Managing Worry

One tool that has helped me shift from worry to peace is tapping, a practice that helps activate the vagus nerve, moving you from a state of fight-or-flight to a rest-and-digest state.

This is crucial because we make our best decisions from a place of calm, not panic.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to using tapping and other techniques to manage worry:

1. Acknowledge the Worry: Start by recognizing what you're worried about. Write down the worry in a sentence.
2. Use Tapping: Find a quiet place and use a tapping app, like The Tapping Solution. Focus on the worry and tap on specific points while acknowledging the worry.
3. Speak scripture: Replace the worry with bible verses. For example, "I'm worried about my son, but God is his shepherd, and I can trust Him."
4. Practice Mindful Breathing: Pay attention to where you feel the worry in your body. Breathe into that area, acknowledging the energy and allowing it to pass.
5. Shift Your Focus: Engage in an activity that helps shift your focus, like going for a walk, journaling, or calling a friend.

During a particularly challenging night, I couldn’t stop the worry loops despite praying and using a meditation app.

The next morning, I used tapping and had a thought to end the worry loop with God’s word. Instead of letting the worry spiral, I practiced finishing the sentence with truth.

 Applying Mindset Tools to Daily Life

Recently, I had a one-on-one coaching call with a client, and she started by saying something that made me chuckle.

She said, “I don’t even need to talk about food today. I’m just sabotaging myself, and I don’t know why.” 

We delved into it, and I asked her, “So, what are you feeling when you’re doing this? What actions are you taking to self-sabotage?”

She explained, “Well, I’m eating while I’m cooking. I’m just eating at times that I shouldn’t be. I keep asking myself, ‘Why am I doing this?’ I’ve been working so hard to keep my protocol on plan, to lose weight, and manage my midlife season. And yet, here I am, eating when I shouldn’t be. I’m feeling nervous, that’s why.”

I asked her, “What are you feeling nervous about?”

She shared her concerns, and honestly, I understood why she was feeling that way. There are plenty of things to feel nervous or upset about, but it’s what we do with those feelings that matters. 

When we answer our emotions with food, it’s self-sabotage or buffering.

It’s not solving the problem; it’s actually making it bigger.

So, we decided to take the judgment out of the equation.

She was feeling like she was doing something wrong or that she was dumb for her actions. I reassured her, “No, no, no. You’re not dumb. Our brains naturally seek out comfort, and food provides that. But let’s find a real solution to feel better.”

We don’t need more food; we need more faith.

We need more connection with the Lord, more spiritual nourishment.

We need more of the word, more truth.

Judging ourselves for seeking comfort in food only adds to the problem. Recognizing this is the first step.

Awareness is key.

Next, we went back to her protocol. “I only eat when it’s time to eat,”

I reminded her.

That’s the agreement I have with myself—breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sometimes, there’s a snack if needed, but my body needs fuel about every four hours. 

If you’re genuinely hungry and not emotionally eating, having some cucumbers while cooking isn’t a big deal. But if it’s a behavior you’re trying to change, we need to address that. 

We outlined a plan. “When you’re nervous or upset, what can you do instead of eating?”

I shared a few strategies with her:

- Start managing your mind.

- Figure out how to meet your needs.

- Process the feeling or learn to be in it without eating. 

This involves allowing the urges and practicing self-control.

Since she was concerned and worried, I shared my own experience with worry loops and how I finished those sentences with helpful and truthful thoughts.

This approach helps break the cycle and creates a healthier response to stress and emotions.

Managing worry in midlife is about more than just acknowledging it; it’s about having the tools to process and shift those thoughts.

By using techniques like tapping, scripture, and practical steps to interrupt worry loops, you can move from a state of anxiety to one of peace and productivity.

Remember, our emotions are energy, and we need to move that energy to avoid getting stuck.

Finding what works for you, whether through physical activity like walking, mindfulness practices, or scripture recitation and reading, is key to overcoming worry.

I hope these insights and tools help you manage worry and transform your mindset.

MUSIC PROVIDED BY - https://www.purple-planet.com/